The biggest bullshit job in America has to be a weatherman for Florida. They are no more than Speculative Cloud Paparazzi who like to take their 10 minutes of fame and over dramatize events. Two weeks ago in we were in the line of fire for “Hurricane” Fay — During this time was the Olympics, so I spent a lot of time watching NBC instead of my typical “Dicovery, NatGeo, History, etc..”. You know — Networks that actually separate facts, theories, and speculation into their proper groups so viewers actually benefit from the broadcasts. Anyways, for a week or so, the weather was a pretty important topic here — so they did channel break ins every 30mins to an hour.. These were.. Absolutely Absurd… And the local affiliates should be ashamed…

Here is the shit we have to deal with:

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Orlando Local news weather man (Abridged and Colored up a tad to enhance the absurdness):

Day 1 (storm 2-3 days out): “Ladies and gentleman, it’s coming. This could is the big one. The National Hurricane center doesn’t expect it to strengthen, but The 5 day forecast models show the track of this storm taking a direct hit on Florida sometime in the next week or so. We could all possibly die. Kiss your families tonight. Hugs your pets.. This is signing off, possibly for the last time ever….”

Day 2 (Storm 1-2 days out): “We survived last night. But FEEDER BANDS ARE POUNDING Florida, Tornado risk is now an 11 out of 10. — Oh my! What was that noise.. FEEDER BAND!!! TAKE COVER!!! This is signing off, most likely for the last time ever….”

Day 3: (Storm Here): “Its good to be alive. This storm has done ‘Exactly What I told you it was going to do‘ — And because of listening to me, is the only reason you’re still alive. We here at nailed this one.. And saved your life with our Uber-Radar Evelventy billion… This storm will move out of the area some time tomorrow… Keep it tuned here for your latest updates…”

Day 4: (Storm Still here): “Good evening folks… This storm has done ‘Exactly What I told you it was going to do‘ — Seriously, I nailed it.. See yesterday I said ‘100% chance of rain’ … And Boy o’ Boy did it rain… Damn I’m good… Sure, this is leading to flooding, But flooding is such B-List news, I’ll let some slack ass news anchor take care of that… In the mean time, Storm should start to leave tomorrow… Either way, you’re still probably going to die… ”

Day 5: (Storm still here): “Good evening folks… This storm has done ‘Exactly What I told you it was going to do‘ See yesterday, that icon on the screen — the cloud face making wind with rain and a lightning bolt coming out of it’s ass.. Yup, exactly, Just like I said.. Still windy and rainy.. Don’t take you family and pets out of the safe room yet… Because if you’re not dead yet? You’re one of the lucky ones, and you will probably be dead very soon… Still got them FEEDER BANDS! to deal with… ”

Day 6: (Storm Finally Starts to Leave): [No more weatherman break ins, but the News has a new promo…] “During Hurricane Fay — Who was your Number one source for up to the minute news? .. We’re the ones that saved your lives… (Camera Cuts to weather man.. To the tune of Soulja Boi blasting, while weatherman is ‘Cranking Dat’ ) ‘Mother Nature… Yeah, I hit that… And I have her panties to prove it…’”

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Yes. I know that hurricanes and tornado threats are nothing to take lightly. But, it would be nice to have speculation reported AS speculation, your warnings reported as warnings, and facts reported as facts. Take the drama out of the equation and help people prepare and make calm informed decisions.

During all of this, the weather man reported “Floridians aren’t prepared since we haven’t had a major storm in 3-4 years…“. The truth is, the drama that the media has intertwined with these broadcasts and events has desensitized the community from the threats, not the lack of the threats. Y’all should be ashamed.